When my mother was 100 I created a post for her using 100 garden and nature photos. That was nearly three years ago. She didn't make it to her 103rd birthday.
My mother loved my garden but she didn't always love it. She didn't understand it. It didn't fit with her idea of a garden. It was messy. There were leaves on the garden beds. There was no symmetry. And maybe worst of all, there were insects, that she associated with dirt and danger.
One day I took her around the garden and explained my ideas and aims. I told her I was aiming to create garden pictures. Ideally, wherever you looked, from every side, I said, it was a pleasing picture. I explained the importance of mulching the soil, and how important insects and all wildlife were because a garden is also a habitat.
And she got it. She grew to love the garden, and appreciated it and how it was always changing. And I loved sharing it with her. Now all that is left are memories, precious memories.
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| In the acquarium in the Emergency Department |
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| A flowering gum in the street near the hospital where I parked the car |
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| The view at sunset from her hospital room |
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| Orchid given to my mother in hospital |
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| Saying goodbye |
I'm so sorry she has passed but oh my, you got to keep her 102 years! Momma made it only to 80 and Poppie passed at 85. Was she in good health most of her years?
ReplyDeletethanks for your condolences, yes, Linda, she was in good health until nearly the end, very lucky really, and so was I.
DeleteI'm so glad to hear that. We watched my mother die over a period of two years because she had a pacemaker that kept her alive when her heart wasn't strong enough to support her.
DeleteThat must have an agonizing time. xx
DeleteI am glad she loved your garden. She had your garden and she had you. You are a good daughter. She was, I believe, a happy lady.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Tatyana
thanks Tatyana, she was happy but she was also ready to die.
Deleteyes - I still think of my mother as I plan where to plant bits which were once cuttings from the Camps Bay garden where I grew up. The orange leaved Crassula nicked from her retirement cottage. And the iris she got for me from her friend there.
ReplyDeleteShe used to love the Australian violet. No bits, but I'll buy a new plant, and think of her.
our gardens are so important to us, and a perfect place to remember our mothers. It's beautiful the way you described it, Diana.
DeleteWhat a touching post. My mom introduced me to growing flowers when I was a little girl. I remembering helping her plant balsam seeds in a flower pot, and I can still recall be so excited when they bloomed. She passed many years ago at 83, but her love for flowers lives on in me.
ReplyDeleteHi Jane, That her love for flowers lives on in you is also very touching. I was a bit scared to write publicly about this sensitive topic, but I'm glad I did now.
DeleteI'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing, but I'm glad you had her for so long and that she embraced your garden philosophy. That would have made for many precious memories.
ReplyDeleteI have lost both my parents, separately, over the past 12 months and empathise. My mother was my best friend.
Thanks for your condolences, Lynne, I am lucky to have so many precious memories. My condolences to you too, your losses are still very recent, and it must have been extra hard losing both parents so close to each other.
DeleteSue I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. What joy to have shared your garden with her...your vision and love.
ReplyDeletethanks for this caring comment, Donna.
DeleteDear Sue, I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's passing, but what a grand life she had! So lovely to know how she came to appreciate your garden and you will always have those memories. I grew up on a flower farm and although we were surrounded by paddocks of flowers, any actual house gardening was done by my mother and grandmother. My Nana was 96 when she died, and Mum 93, so I was fortunate to have them for so long. I have many plants in my garden that I can directly relate to those wonderful women. Sue, I'll be thinking of you - you've written a lovely tribute to your dear mother. Hugs from Sydney.
ReplyDeletethank you so much, dear Carol, I was a bit nervous writing this post, but I'm so pleased I did. When we have our parents and grandparents for a long time, we are lucky, especially if they have good health.
DeleteI am so sorry you're having to deal with this. What a gift to live to 102! Beautiful post.
ReplyDeletethanks Tammy. It was a gift, certainly no tragedy, reminds me that death is sadly inevitable.
DeleteI am sad you lost your mother. She had a long life at 102, so I hope it was a good and fulfilling 102 years. It is great she came to appreciate your garden. My own mom was gone in 2011. My mother-in-law never cared for my garden, even with all the flowers. As she said, " I like looking at dirt". With that frame of thought, no matter what you plant would not suit her.
ReplyDeleteWe all appreciate it if someone close to us tries to understand our passion. But someone who likes looking at dirt doesn't sound very empathic.
DeleteI am so glad that you commented on my blog so that I could find yours! I also added my link to the meme on plantpostings that you suggested. My Mom was 90 when she died, and luckily I saw here about three months before she died, which was a blessing. She never did see my garden as she got too old to travel such distances, but I planted a lemon tree in her memory as she aways had a lemon tree in her gardens. It is flowering right now!
ReplyDeletethat's beautiful about the lemon tree, aa.
DeleteOh Sue, I'm so sorry for your loss. How special to have shared your garden and vision with your mother. She had a grand life and created someone very special; we have her to thank for you and your wonderful blog!
ReplyDeletethank you - what a lovely thing to say, Peter!
DeleteSue,its sad to have lost your mother, comforting to think of the many years you shared with each other.
ReplyDeletetruly said, thanks Alistair.
Deletea bit late,(just found the blog) But i also had a step mother who died this month 7 yrs ago and she had an amazing 'messy' garden that just grew itself it seemed , natives ,pots and flowers, that i am trying to emulate. kept all of her potted things and they are still going. Loved your post
ReplyDeletenever too late, lovely to 'meet' you Michele. Keeping her memory alive with her pots is lovely. Our mothers have a huge influence on us, although I wonder if we don't realize how much till they die.
DeleteThe very last photo is so intense: I'm sure your mother felt your loving gaze and reflected it back to you. I've just looked back at the beautiful post of the 100 garden photos in honour of her 100th birthday. I'm sure that such love will radiate outwards and live for ever.
ReplyDeletethank you, dear Bev
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